What has kept me on an even keel in these 50 years, and amidst the overwhelming Joy that I have experienced because of my Priesthood, is without a doubt my Blindness!

I was diagnosed with this condition (called Retinitis Pigmentosa) just three months before my Ordination in 1973. Since it is a hereditary disease, I was born with it.

The condition is caused by a lack of a specific protein in the blood needed to keep the tiny vessels that supplied blood (and oxygen) to the cells in the retina to shrivel up. Looking into the eye one could see the “scars” caused by these dead cells that pigmented the retina and of course interfered with the sight process.

To date there is no cure: Research is slow in identifying the protein and how to supply it to the body. There is more success with mechanical means – e.g. A digital camera connected to the spectacles at the side of the head and transmitting via Bluetooth to the optic nerve (which is intact) – shows great promise but its use is decades in the future.

The cardinal had no hesitation in ordaining me as, of course, there was no clear picture of the future and since at that time I was able to function and even drive a car I was happy to have an opportunity to exercise my pastoral activity.

But for sure I was aware what was in store for me and maybe this was my guiding light that coloured my years as a Priest. I was, of course, realistic about my future and the possibilities of advance.

Maybe this was the crux of my whole life. I was able to concentrate on my Priesthood and not so much in what the future would bring.

To my great Joy I was able to return to Rome and obtain a Licentiate in Bible Studies but my academic career did not last long as I had difficulty doing the necessary research.

It was twenty years before I gave up driving and a further ten years before I registered at the Blind Institute and obtained my first white cane.

Ever since I received the verdict of what the future held for me there was a clear choice: either to lapse into melancholy or make the best of everything and look on my condition not as an obstacle but as a stepping stone.

In this my Vocation played a great part. Once I accepted that I was going nowhere career wise (yes even priests have ambitions!) I was able to concentrate on being the best Priest I could be.

This is then my success story! In the seminary I had many dreams and even though I did recognize my Vocation was real there were other distraction open to me – and for sure studying in Rome and close to the hub of our faith one is able to dream.

But I know that if I had pursued these other roads, I could have advanced but it would have been at the cost of my Priesthood. I would have been only half a Priest!

My blindness has been the reason for the celebration today when I remember that I was able to exercise the Priesthood without distractions. I can say with truth that I have enjoyed my Priesthood.

More my blindness has being a real “attraction” – in some way I have come close to people and all that they are going through. The people could see that I was one of them in my weakness and could counsel not from above but with understanding of what most people go through.

Aligned to this was my love for the Eucharist – my daily closeness to the Master who comes down on our Altars through my Anointed Hands.  This “Incarnation” at Mass has a purpose: Jesus again offers His Life as a sacrifice and in Holy Communion gives us a chance to be reconciled with God – our Ultimate Vocation.

How truly Blessed I felt to participate in this daily sacrifice not from afar as in a drama but to be genuinely with Christ on the cross because of my blindness.

It is as if Christ has really invited me to be part of His Life – not only in healing and teaching but also part of what Christ is all about: the cross!

The Blessing is that I am not nailed physically to the Cross, or that my condition in some way was fatal. But it flavoured all my words and actions – in this last I could really and truly enter into the evangel of people’s lives! And my sympathy for others was real and heartfelt.

But the mystery of the Priesthood is something else. When God calls, He is NOT hammering a person to fit a mold – God genuinely accepts who we are and runs with that – just as Jesus accepted the many differences manifested by the Apostles He chose.

Not for an instance would I say that I am perfect and many of you have noticed how human I am – not only in some imperfection in behaviour but also in having my heart run away from me! This can be embarrassing sometimes!  I would like to think that Jesus too caused this reaction.

So, there you have it. After 50 years the celebration is not because I have achieved much – the promises of my childhood and seminary have flown out of the window. Yet, there is reason to celebrate as in my Priesthood God has reached out into this world and is involved in the lives of His People showing Himself not as a harsh Judge but a Loving Father. That was the image cultivated by Jesus as He roamed the byways of Galilee bringing Joy and Peace to all He met – and the image multiplied a million times because of the cross!

I want to conclude by challenging all who read this to recognize in themselves a Vocation just like mine. And if we are speaking about the cross everyone has this cross in their lives – be it a health issue or personal relationship that has gone awry.  Without a doubt the Cross underwrites the actions of all and flavours the response so that God is made Present in this world.

Love and God Bless.

Father Jose Luis Saldanha